In true Love, you forget the lover


Don’t tell all of their

They might
Count each other’s moles
That reside in the shy

Then keep that tally strictly
To themselves.

God and I
Have signed a contract
To be even more intimate than

Though a clause

Something about not drawing detailed maps
To all His beautiful


~ Hafiz

Shri Prashant: Lovers know each other. Lover of God knows God. Lovers don’t talk about that which is very intimate in public. They do not like to discuss all the core secrets with others. They do not like to tell of these things to anybody. These things have a certain sacredness. These things must remain untouched. They cannot be shared with the world. Oh, they are so sacred that they cannot be shared even with oneself. They are so sacred that you do not want to tell of them even to your own mind. If you put something in words and speak it out, then you are speaking out an entire word. Not making it public. You don’t let your intimacy become a public thing. Forget about words, if you even think about something, then you have at least let your mind know about that thing.

Your relationship with God is so intimate that you cannot let others and you cannot let even yourself know about it, which means that not only can you not use words, you can also not use thoughts, which means you cannot think about your relationship with God. Which means you will know everything, but not ‘think’ about anything, and that is the mark of a Real relationship. To know so closely that there is no need to think. You know so closely that thoughts become vulgar.

Remember that thought is always a problem-solving mechanism. Thought arises only when there is a challenge, a problem, a doubt, a dispute. If everything is well-settled, then there is no need to think. In intimate love, everything is surely well-settled. So, where is the need for thought? You will know all the intimate details about God, but you will say nothing. Not only will you not say anything to others, you will also not say anything to yourself. You won’t even think. Thinking is an insult, an abomination.

In matters of the Real, you just be. You do not think. If you have to think about your Beloved, if you miss your Beloved, it is a sure sign of absence of Love. Where there is something Real, it is always complete. The Real is complete by definition. What is complete by definition does not seek completion through after-thought. If your meeting has been complete, you will not be left groping the memories.

Whatsoever is left unfulfilled, seeks fulfilment through thought. That which is Total and Complete, just fades away, dissolves. Hence, the Real Lover will not make himself felt through thought. He would not want to become an object in your mind. He will not say, “Remember me at all times in the day”.

The sign of True Love is that you can forget.

You can totally forget.

You are so assured that there is no need to think or remember.

Thought is not needed. Verbalization is not needed. You are knowing without thinking – and that is Real knowing, when you know without thinking, when you know without effort, without knowledge, without memories.

That is how God is known. 

God is not known as knowledge or information. God does not come to you through the database of memories. God cannot be knowledge that you get from a book. God is knowing in absence of knowledge. God is realization without the aid of mind. And that is your contract with God – “I would know you, but not talk about you. If I talk about you, then I have lost you”.

But we love to talk.

The moment you make these matters worldly; how does a matter become worldly? The moment it is put in words. What has been put in words have become worldly. The moment you make these matters a subject of words, a subject of thought, you have totally lost it. You have come in between. You are language. You are society. You are civilization. You are all mental activity.

Fulfilment is when you are not thinking about fulfilment.

Real knowing is when you are not thinking in terms of knowledge.

Love is when you forget all about love.

Fearlessness is when you are not thinking that you are fearless.

If you are thinking that you are fearless, you are just using thought as a defence mechanism.

Whatever is Real is known by its absence in the psychic world.

If it does not come in thoughts then it is Real. If the mind cannot imagine it, hold it, touch it, conceptualise it, then it is Real.

Don’t talk about God. Don’t take the name of God so often. The more you talk about God, the more it is proven that God is missing. God is not a subject of discussion. God is not something to be remembered. Only objects are remembered. Only the world can be remembered.

Forget God totally, and now you know God.

Any thought of God, even the grandest thought that you can have is actually an insult to God. Even the most beautiful image that you can have of God is actually an ugly image. All images are ugly because they are just images, not Real.

Keep the secret.

Don’t spill the beans.

That’s the essence of Spirituality.

Don’t break the news.

Like lovers talk in hushed tones.

One does not talk loudly to God.

Somebody may hear.

Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.

Watch the session: Shri Prashant on Hafiz: In true Love, you forget the lover

Further Reading:

Advait in Everyday Life

final-book-cover_advait-in-everyday-life-4-copyAdvait has since long been revered as the crown jewel of all spiritual philosophies. However, there are very few books, if any at all, that practically demonstrate the presence, applications, methods and benefits of living as per the golden teaching of Advait-Vedanta.

This book is a much needed and rare attempt to bring spirituality and philosophical teachings to everyday life. The author’s genius lies in being delightfully able to bridge the abstract world of theorizations and principles with day-to-day circumstances, happenings, emotions and relationships.





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