Question: Sir, when we lose a loved one in the form of a body, what happens actually is that the love remains intact but we lose that loved one in that physical form – the body. Please guide.
Acharya Prashant: There would anyway be so many thoughts, live in them. There would be a lot of sadness, live in that. What else can you do? What we call as ‘love’, is something directed towards a body, a human being. Now, that human being is no more, you obviously miss the person. It is a part of what you call as being human; so you will cry, cry a lot; you will miss, miss a lot! And all that is so beautiful, from that suffering, you come to Joy.
Deep suffering opens Joy for you.
Anything that is deep enough, takes you to Joy. It only needs to be deep. It does not matter what it is. I am not somebody who would suggest that when a loved one departs, you should act indifferent. Why must you act indifferent?
If right now, it is getting a little warm here, one perspires. It is a part of prakriti (nature). If one loses a friend or someone with whom one has spent a lot of time with, someone one has shared beautiful moments with, one cries.
Cry your heart out!
Don’t suppress it.
Cry like mad.
Actually, our society does not like open expressions of suffering. That is why we always pretend that we are happy. That is why whenever someone asks us, “How are you doing?,” rarely do we say, “Very badly!”.
It is a mutual deception. We keep proving to each other that we are happy. There is no obligation to prove to others that you are happy. If you are happy for a while, it is inevitable that sadness is going to come next. When sadness comes, live it fully. Now you will know what sadness is, and in that knowing, there is Joy.
Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity.
Watch the session: How to cope with the loss of a loved one?
The Beautiful Heart
The Beautiful Heart, a paragon, will introduce you to an extremely different way of living, not professed by many before; a way that is far away from calculations and manipulations and calls for a fearless venture into it.
Living by the Heart is a harmonious way of living. Author has extended an invitation through this book to come close to the beautiful heart of yours and see how enchanting it is to live by it.