Can you remember this?
You do not know your own good, so you cannot desire my own good.
Existence knows what is good for you.
So it sends you the sun, it has given you the capacity to love and understand.
There is a bigger power, a totality that knows what is best for you. And let that bigger power, let that totality decide what is good for you.
‘You’ should not look after yourself because you cannot look after yourself and if you try to look after yourself, you will only harm yourself.
If you do not want to harm yourself then do not have this stupid belief in your expectations.