Question: Please explain what Osho means when he says,
“So really it happens that the more sexual a person is, the more inventive he can be. The more sexual a person is, the more intelligent. With less sex energy, less intelligence exists; with more sexual energy, more intelligence, because sex is a deep search to uncover, not only bodies, not only the opposite sex body, but everything that is hidden.”
Acharya Prashant: What does sex indicate? What does a man, or a woman want? One has to be in touch with his deepest tendency. One has to be in touch with his unconscious. Apparently it looks that you are looking for a woman’s or a man’s body. Apparently it looks that you just want to take off the clothes, apparently it looks that you just want to penetrate inside flesh. Apparently, just apparently.
It is not somebody’s body that you are after really. That is why, merely the body does not satisfy you, that is why you keep going to the body again and again, without ever returning fully satisfied. Because it was never in the first place, the body that you were looking for. Through the body, you are looking for something else. And women understand that more clearly than men.
Women know that the body is given just to have more of love. For the man, often, the body itself becomes the end, so he doesn’t quite appreciate what he is really looking for. But the woman understands it a little better, she knows that. The woman really does not chase a man’s body. The woman offers her body when she gets love. Her body is an offering. She is saying, the body is little, you take the body but give me love. The man is often after just the body, so love becomes secondary for him.
Be it a woman or a man, nobody is really chasing a body. You want that which sits at the center of the body. Penetration is symbolic, you want to reach to the heart. It is not merely a little bit of flesh that you want to dig into. You want to reach right till the heart. And unless you have reached the heart, the sexual activity has gone waste.
Sex, that is just a few inches deep, serves no purpose. Sex has to be infinitely deep. You have to touch not only the other’s body, but really the heart.
That is what you are looking for. The sexual activity is just like any other activity of man, he is searching for God. He searches for God in ambition, he looks for God in money, he looks for God in fame, he also looks for God in a woman’s body. But because he is not in touch with his own tendency, he does not know that he is really looking for God. He thinks that he is looking for some flesh. And that too, particularly the genital organs. He is mistaken if he thinks that way. Flesh is abundantly available. Who wants flesh?
You are dying for love. Love is what brings you to the woman and unless you can have love there, you will be forever discontented. Ditto with the woman, same thing.
Most of us, anyway do not have the bodies of Greek Gods. If a woman comes to you, what do you think, she comes to you because you are a Casablanca, a Kamdev, an oversexed cupid? She comes to you because, through you she wants to reach peace. Mind you, not ‘to you’, but ‘through you’. You are being used as a means. And that is your best utilization.
If you can be a messenger of peace, if you can be harbinger of peace. If you can be like the tour guide, who takes the visitor and shows her the temple. But instead of being the guide, who holds the visitor and takes her to the temple, you become some kind of a duplicate image, a travesty. Have you seen those duplicate images of Mona Lisa, have you seen how they look? That is how you look, when you try to act God in front of your lover. Have you seen those pirated movies, how they look? Have you listened to parodies of the great epics? Have you seen, how the Ram of Ram Leela looks? That is how you look in front of your lover.
You are not Ram, but you are trying to act like Ram. You are saying, “I will give you fulfilment.” And who are you? You are a ten Rupee, Ram Leela actor.
But you are telling her, come to me, I am Kamdev. Kamdev, who can show up as Ramdev also. I am both Kama and Rama. You better take your ten Rupees and disappear. That is what your worth is. But not only do you act, you also start to feel insulted, when she does not call you Rama. She sidelines you a little, ignores you a little, shows you your place a little, and you say, “You know what? Deep insult. Me, the Lord, called her, come please warm my bed and she refused. She has no devotion. The Deity called and she didn’t respond. For who am I? Rama, who is fond of Kama.”
“So, it is her dharma to oblige me, the moment I drop a hint.” You better remain in your place. Ten Rupees, nothing more than that. You are the guide, who must bring the visitor to the temple and then disappear. Your role ends there.
Be it the temple or be it the washroom, when somebody asks you the way, don’t stick to her. Show her the way, bring her to the doorsteps and then? Get lost. And when somebody asks you which way to the Loo? Now don’t enter the loo along with her. Bring her to the door and? Disappear.
But we don’t know that. These are the basic courtesies of living. These courtesies are called Religion.
Understand, what sex is all about. Now, what is Osho saying here? He is saying the deeper your sexual urge is, the deeper is the indication of what you really want. Now don’t remain lost in sex. You better understand what you really want and proceed. If you are all the time, thinking of sex, fascinating, watching porn, masturbating, ogling, gaping, groping, then you must realize, what you want? It is not the female body that you want, or the male body. You want something else. That something else, the body will never provide to you. You better realize your real longing. You better divert your energy towards that. Otherwise, you will keep running after women all your life, and women will keep running in front of you.
Women are also quite swift runners. You run fast, they run faster. And they also know how to pass the baton. So, when one woman is tired, she will hand it over to the other woman. Does that not happen? One woman after the other. Women will keep changing. The baton will keep passing and you will be running after them and making a fool of yourself.
And later on when you watch, you will discover that the women were running after some other man. And the man was running because he was running after some other woman. So, you are always running after someone, who is running after someone else. Does anyone know what everybody is really running after?
Nobody ever manages to catch anybody else. And those who do, by tricks like marriage etc. are even more deeply disappointed. Because, even after you have caught her, she is still running. In the kitchen she is running, in the courtyard she is running, on the terrace she is running. Even on the bed she is running. She has her own search, her own longing, her own life, her individuality. Just as you are chasing God, she too is chasing God. So, she too is always running, as madly as you are. Both of you are runners, how will you ever get each other?
That is the image of the sex that we have, sex while running. Now how exciting is that Sir? Two persons, both running furiously, breathlessly, are also having sex. And none of them is really interested in each other. Both of them are interested in their goal. And yet they are having sex with ‘each other’.
Two bodies are meeting, searching in each other, what none of the bodies have.
Even symbolically, do you see how the physical act looks? You are trying to all the time, get into the body of the other. By all means you are somehow trying to reach inside. This reaching inside is very symbolic. You really want to reach inside. And at the inside, lies the Truth, God, Aatman. But you will not reach there, using cavities of the body. You are saying, “Baby open your mouth, I want to slide my tongue in, rather jet it in, project it in. And a little bit of cheese from the Pizza we had for the dinner is still there, at the back of your tongue, I will have it.”
Arey! why are you making faces? (Looking at a Listener)
This is the latest IN thing.
This is called salivated Pizza. Baby eats Pizza, a little bit of Pizza rests in the throat, and then you have that Pizza. And the seasoning is in your own throat.
Even physically you are limited. How deep can you go? You cannot reach the intestines.
Neither can you reach the intestines, nor the ovary. Even physical nature has restricted you. Your tongue and your penis are both just a few inches. And God lies in the depths, utter depths. A few inches won’t suffice. The depth there is infinite. But see, how proudly you go around with a few inches. As if that is sufficient.
The sexual urge is an indication, it is a message. Please read the message. You have to go, millions of miles. Six inches are no good. How many times will you repeat six inches in order to reach a thousand miles? How many times, how many births? Now, do you see, why one has to be born again and again? As says India. Now, do you see what all this transmigration and rebirthing all about? It is nothing but six inches being repeated again and again till the total distance covered is a million miles. That never happens, really.
Even six inches can, at some point, reach a million miles. But here there is a dimensional difference.
Somebody very famously said, “An intellectual is someone, who has found something more interesting than sex.” I want to add something more to it, “The spiritual man is someone who has found something more interesting than the intellect.” So,
You are an intellectual, when you have found something more interesting than sex. And when you have found something more interesting than the intellect, then you are spiritual. Then you are Godly.
Sex is beautiful only if you can see the divine in the other. Sex is beautiful only if the body is not just body, but a temple. A temple, at the center of which, God himself sits. Do not try to have sex with someone, you cannot see as a God or a Goddess. If you cannot worship the feet of a woman, if you cannot respect her, if you cannot surrender to the woman, don’t try to have sex. And that is same for the woman too. If you are not looking at the body as the temple, then touching the other is just rape. In fact, almost as a ritual, you must worship before touching. And again, almost as a ritual, you must bow down, after the act. Not push her away and turn to the other side, because you are now finished, done with, and you want to now, snore.
Sex can either be the most abject humiliation, or the deepest respect.
Often in the past, and even today, sex has been used to humiliate the other. When an army would win over a country, then to stamp its authority, the soldiers would go and rape the women in the newly won territory. It was to show to them that now we are your masters. That is one use of sex. To show to the other that I have control over you.
Changez Khan, went on winning more and more territory, and wherever he won he raped. That was his way of showing that he was the winner. Now I can have control over your body just as I have control over your territory. He raped so many women, that almost ten percent or fifteen percent of the people in Asia, carry his genes. Because he was a big winner. Even today, armies do that. Even today, so called lovers do that, to stamp their authority they have sex. This is one way of having sex.
The other way is as we just talked of. Be respectful. Touch the other, only when you do not look at the other as material. Touch the other, only when you are not going to spoil the other with your touch. Touch the other, when you are completely sure that your touch is beneficial to the other. At least your intention is not to harm. And probe your intention very very deeply.
Make sure that you are not entering the temple with your shoes on. Make sure that you are not entering the temple in order to deplete the temple. Make sure you are not entering the temple because you like, all the Gold that is there inside the temple. Many are there who enter the temples just to steal the statues.
When you look at the entire existence as manifestation of God, then you also look at your man and woman as manifestation of God. Then you know how to touch someone. It all goes together. When you know how to touch a wall, you also know how to touch a book. You also know then, how to touch a deer or a dog. If you do not know how to touch a dog, you also don’t know how to touch a woman. If you are cruel towards animals, what do you think, you really know how to touch a woman? If you are found kicking a dog, your sex would be involving, the kicking intention, definitely.
Sex drives so much of our life. You better understand what it is. It is not that two seconds of orgasmic pleasure that you are chasing. You are seeking to unburden yourself for eternity. Two seconds is too little to satisfy you. You want to really UNBURDEN yourself. Ejaculation is a representation of unburdening. As if something that was loaded has suddenly, unloaded. As if something that was heavy, has suddenly become light. That’s what ejaculation represents.
You are not wanting that just for two seconds. If you want it for two seconds, even masturbation is alright. Why bother a woman, why stain her clothes? Why risk pregnancy? Why go through all the trouble of chasing and wooing and marrying? Just go and masturbate. It is not just those two seconds that you want, you want an eternal Samadhi.
Sex tells you that nothing less than a total Samadhi will satisfy you. Those two seconds come, just to tease you. Orgasm comes, just to unsettle you even more. Because it reminds you of what you are missing. Orgasm is such a great disturbance. Orgasm is such a painful reminder; orgasm is such great news.
But what if you find that the news remains perpetual news. Somebody comes and delivers you news, that your beloved is about to arrive. On a screen, there is the news flashing, “Beloved, about to arrive.” You are ecstatic. One hour later, the news is still the same, “Beloved, about to arrive.” Two years later, the news is still the same. That is what happens to people who are indulging in repeated orgasms. Orgasm comes, delivers the news and the news is always the same. But the beloved never arrives, only the news arrives. The flight is delayed by one hour or more like Indian railways – at 6 pm the train is delayed by 4 hours, at 9 pm too, the train is delayed by 4 hours. The news is the same.
What would you do with such news? Why do you want this orgasm again and again. It only comes to bother you. It is teasing you. It is making a mockery of your life. Why do you want to listen to that news again and again? Go straight to the beloved. Stop consoling yourself with little bit of news.
Like Orgasm, this session would also be over. Then?
You asked Sex, I gave you sex. And now it is over, you got a glimpse, an orgasmic glimpse of what is possible. Now what do you want to do?
L: Understand, because understanding is important.
AP: It is very important, but if it is important, it must stay. If you are so fond of orgasm, why don’t you live in orgasm?
Living in Orgasm, is called Samadhi.
But that will not come to you as a bodily thing. No human body is going to provide that to you. You can eat bodies, consume bodies, you can fascinate bodies, collect bodies, whatever, Samadhi would not ride a body and come to you.
If you are already in Samadhi, then bodies are beautiful. Already in Samadhi. That’s the thing with living, that is the thing with sex also. You must be in Samadhi, even before you enter sex. You do not enter sex with the hope of reaching Samadhi through sex. You must be IN Samadhi, Samadhisth. Every moment of your life, then everything is Joy. And just as everything is Joy, then sex too is Joy.
But sex will not fulfill your hopes. If you put the burden of getting Samadhi on sex, sex will always be disappointing. Sex will only give you then, a lot of drained energy, lot of running around, stained clothes, and strained relationships.
Be in Samadhi, before. Don’t target it after. Be complete, even as you approach a man or a woman. Do not approach her in order to be complete. You are already complete. In your completeness, now you are going to her. You are not expecting that her company will complete you.
Samadhi cannot come as a result of Sambhog (Sex). Samadhi has to be prior to Sambhog. And then Sambhog carries the taste of Samadhi, just as everything else carries the taste of Samadhi. If you want Samadhi through any means, you will be disappointed. People have tried Samadhi through thousand means, they have always been disappointed because no method will ever work. No method can bring you to your natural state, because that is what you already are. The method is the barrier, the method is Maya, the method is the problem. All spirituality is about learning how to drop methods.
Just as every method fails to bring you to Samadhi, Sambhog also fails to bring you to Samadhi. In Samadhi, Sambhog is special, entire life is special.
-Excerpts from a ‘Shabd-Yoga’ session. Edited for clarity
Watch the session: Acharya Prashant on Osho: Sex has to be infinitely deep
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