It is not as if tendencies evaporate when you come close to the Truth. They don’t evaporate, they just get purified. They still remain. Kindly, don’t try to kill the tendencies. If you kill the tendencies, you kill yourself. The tendencies have their rightful place in existence. Let them be there.
If you want to cry, cry in love, not in hatred. If you want to run amok, run amok, in joy, not in desperation. Spirituality since long has been about, a suppression of tendencies, that does no good.
Our tendencies need a healing touch. They do not need a butcher’s knife. And these are two very different things. The surgeon’s knife and the butcher’s knife. The ‘I’ tendency, all the latent tendencies, vrittis, they are suffering. They need someone who can take care of them. They are like a weeping baby because a kid is weeping do you strangulate it? When the kid is weeping, you hold it to your chest, don’t you?
All your tendencies, even the most vile and vicious ones, even the most dis-respectable ones are just the weeping child. That which you call as, abominable about yourself, that which you call as vile and aberrant, is nothing but the ‘I’ tendency seeking completion, seeking fulfillment.
Fulfill it, don’t try to kill it.
Read the Article: What happens to ego tendencies after Realization?