How to be less dependent on others? || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Question: Acharya ji, my mind is fully occupied and surrounded by one person. A problem is there. When I’m away from him, I’m totally free but when I’ll go back to him, how will I be myself? Not sure where the problem is, within me or somewhere else?

Acharya Prashant: Lata, it’s not a thing between you and that person, please. We talked about it the other night. First of all it has to be between you and the impersonal One. If you are with Him then it really doesn’t matter whether you are with one other person, ten more persons or with nobody at all. Your mind should not be occupied by a person. If your mind is occupied by a person, then the mind is never going to find peace. It doesn’t matter who the person is. The mind must be the seat of the Absolute. You must belong to the real one. And then you may be with five persons, ten persons, and we said, or no person at all. It won’t bother you.  Continue reading

The Guru is not a person

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Question: Acharya Ji, I would want to know a little bit about the Master’s Grace, the master as a person.

Acharya Prashant: What happens is that, sitting as you are, you take yourself to be a person. When I speak in Hindi, it becomes a little difficult for you because the person that you are does not know Hindi. So even to be a recipient of grace, the person’s struggles with his personal limitations, matters.

Grace might be falling freely, but you are not in a position to receive it because you are confined with the limits of the person; and the person does not know Hindi. Hence you require a medium on the outside that tally’s with; who is conducive to, who matches with the requirements of your personality. Continue reading

Acharya Prashant on ‘International Women’s Day’

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THE REVOLUTION MUST ARISE FROM THE WOMAN!

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As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  

The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman. Continue reading

How To Bring About A Total Women’s Revolution?

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Woman, get out of the nest, hit the road!

Important takeaways:

  1. The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman.
  2. As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her. As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  
  3. If the woman can be saved, it is only through true spirituality because spirituality alone can take you out of your body identification.
  4. The man should not be at the center of women’s world.
  5. We need girls’ gangs. We need girls’ communes.
  6. Mark the nest, that’s your enemy.
  7. Get out of the nest, hit the road.
  8. Be the user of the car, not the doll in the car.
  9. Knowledge must be your asset, strength must be your asset, exposure must be your asset, money must be your asset and overall, truth must be your asset. Not your breasts and hips.

 

What does it mean to be a woman? A lot that is hurtful. Why must one keep bearing the hurt? One bears the hurt because one is drawing certain comforts. The hurt is deep and lasting, the comforts are cheap. The comforts, like the hurts, are both – physical and psychological. There has to be a total revolution in the way, the woman looks at herself. She cannot be a creature of the nest. As long as the nest exists, the woman would be exploited. With females in the animal kingdom, the nest is possible. The nest works because animals are just biological or at least mostly biological. They are not governed predominantly by social forces. Prakrati governs them. And so, if Prakrati dictates the female animal to have a nest, it works. Animal female is an animal, born an animal, dies an animal, is not ambitious, lives just fulfilling her Prakratik roles. The animal male is too just an animal, is born an animal, dies an animal and has no ambition beyond his Prakratik mandate to conquer or exploit.   

But man is not merely biological, man is social as well. And man has a social mandate to conquer, exploit. He exploits everything, he exploits Prakrati, and that’s what you call development. Don’t you? He exploits his intellect, and that you call as knowledge. Don’t you? And this man will exploit everything. And you feel greatly happy, when man exploits everything. Why will the man not exploit the woman? No animal is supposed to exploit but man is supposed to exploit. Is he not? Man exploits the earth to get minerals, man exploits the earth to get crops.  Man exploits everything that he can. And that is not considered really immoral. In fact we reward those who are the most clever exploiters. If you can exploit the atom to get energy, you feel so happy. Don’t you? The atom, in its own Prakratik way was not eager to supply you energy. But you took the atom and said – I am in need of energy because I am ambitious, because I want more comfort. So, I will exploit this atom and get energy. And if you can break open the atom and get energy, you feel happy and you respect and reward those, who do all these things.

So, if man gets recognition, respect and reward for exploiting, why would the men spare the women, or even the women spare the men? But the woman, the human female is biologically conditioned to have a nest, just as the animal female is. But for the animal female, the nest is the end of the story. Nothing happens beyond that. The nest is made, the young ones are there, and then the rest of the Prakratik story unfolds, and that’s it. In humans, there is society beyond biology. So, if the woman is in the nest, that gives an opportunity to the man to exploit her even more.

The male bird will not exploit the female bird, when she cannot fly, because she is taking care of the eggs or the young ones. The male bird would not exploit her then. But in humans, the male is likely to exploit the female, when she is sitting in the nest to take care of the little baby. The woman will have to go beyond her biological self. The nest is the expression of the woman’s biological self. As long as there is the nest, the woman would keep getting exploited. Unfortunately, the woman is still thinking that the nest is her asset, that the nest is her protective cocoon.

The nest is not your friend; the nest is not your fortress. The nest is your cage. The man is just indifferent to the nest. The woman should be repugnant to the nest. Instead, the woman is the one, who seeks the nest. And when a human female is seeking a nest, she is only seeking a prison. Man does not rebel against the nest, man is just indifferent. Right? If there is nest, man says OK, I will come. If there is no nest, man is OK with the hotel room. Man is OK with even the hostel, man is prepared sometimes to sleep under the sky, beneath a tree.

It is the woman, who demands the nest. The woman would have to actively rebel against the nest. As long as there is the nest, the woman will remain chained. Ironically, the woman is the one, who clamours for the nest. If there is a relationship, it would be the woman, who would keep asking actively  – darling, when are we getting married? And after the marriage, she will be the one who will keep pestering, when will we have a house of our own. The woman is her own worst enemy because she is very, very biology driven. Man too is biology driven but he abides by his intellect too. He abides by his intellect much more than the woman does. The woman is extremely biological.

And that is beautiful in some sense because if you are not biological then you are probably intellectual and the intellect is a bigger curse than it is a boone. The woman is simpler, more innocent. I would dare to say, the woman is simple and innocent, just as animals are because woman, just as animals, is biology driven. She is emotional and her emotions do not really arise from understanding, not even from intellect. Her emotions arise from her body, from her biological conditioning, from her hormones.  Look at the way she is attached to the baby. That does not involve any understanding. All that is pure biology, hormones. Man has no such chains. Man has no such compulsions. It is biology that confines and chains and imprisons the women. As long as the woman keeps herself identified, with her body, the nest and biology, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that her body is an asset, there is no freedom for her.

As long as the woman keeps thinking that the freedom is about flaunting her body, there is no freedom for her.  

The woman is the more oppressed of the two genders and therefore, the revolution must arise from the woman.

Woman by rebelling against the body, will be the harbinger of the revolution that will liberate the entire mankind, women and men, both included. But if you will ask me between these two genders, which one is likely or which one rather must initiate the revolution, I would say, the woman. Because, the woman is more oppressed of the two. Once the revolution begins, obviously the man too will be liberated.

But just as a woman gives birth to a man, woman will also need to give birth to the freedom of man. Man will not be able to give birth to his own freedom. Freedom too will be born out of the woman. That does not seem to be happening. Woman remains terribly body identified. And that which you call as modernity or liberation, or even feminism, is unfortunately even more body centric. It’s just that now the body centricity is a little hidden. There is only one way to go beyond the body and that is the way of truth, the way of spirituality. All other ways go from the body to the body. So, you can go from veiling to revealing. But you are just going from the body to the body. What were you veiling? The body. And now what are you revealing? The body. All these great liberation movements have taken you from the body to the body. So, there is no liberation at all, you are just being cheated and fooled. The only way, the women can be liberated, is the spiritual way, the spiritual route. Ahhh! Now that sounds so old fashioned. Doesn’t it? In fact, you would love to say that religion is the curse of woman; that using religion, the woman has been confined and oppressed and what not. But all that was false religion. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

If the woman can be saved, it is only through true spirituality because spirituality alone can take you out of your body identification. The body, the hormones, the maternity, the nest, as long as these remain important to the women, no liberation, no liberation at all. And when her body will cease to be important for her, the man too will cease to be important for her. Man rides upon woman, enslaves woman because the man is very important for the woman. Woman may not be the center of the man’s world, but go to most women and you will find that man is the center of woman’s world. It is quite strange.

If you want to test this, go and conduct an experiment. Test it. What is the women thinking of? Her thoughts are much more biologically driven. What is she thinking of? Once she has become the mother, she is thinking of the kids.  The wife thinks more of husband’s welfare than the husband thinks of wife’s welfare. Isn’t that a general rule? The wife is ready with the dinner and the husband often does not return in time. Now, who has been thinking more about the other? The wife. And all this has been taken as her humanity, her kindness. She has been called as motherly and nurturing and she has been venerated, deity-fied, praised.

Don’t take that respect, that veneration, by being turned into a deity. You are being confined within four walls of the temple. Don’t accept that.

The man should not be at the center of women’s world.

By the way, if the men want to rule over the women, let them rule. Let the men keep thinking of the women, the women must be independent of the men. I know, that is not easy. I know, I am asking something close to impossible, but that is the only way out. Women will have to stop giving men so much importance. The importance that a woman gives to her body, her biology, her nest and man, are all one. Is there a nest without a man? The woman does not build the nest for herself. She builds it for herself and her man. If you will go and figure out the fact of loneliness, it is the woman who is more susceptible to loneliness. Men make merry even in the company of men. You will find boys’ gang going all over, all around. A group of six boys having fun but rarely would you find a group of six girls having fun. They need men. Six girls are not happy together. Six boys on the contrary can be very happy together. The woman needs man and that’s what keeps her bonded.

We need girls’ gangs. We need girls’ communes.

We need women to be alright with themselves. We don’t want women to be emotionally dependent or biologically dependent on men. We don’t want woman to seek a man to complete her identity. We don’t want the woman to seek a man to complete her name. Are you getting this? If you say, you are a mother, what are you always looking for? Looking for a child. And when you are not a mother, you are a wanna-be mother. If you are a wanna-be mother, then you are always looking for the husband and his sexual power. And you are saying – I am dependent on you. My womb is empty and waiting. Come, fill it up. My nest is so lonely without you.

And a lot of that is done, just in the name of Mamta. The women is such a perpetual mother, she is a mother even to the husband. She begins as the girl friend and ends as the mother. Six months, she remains as girl friend, one year as a wife, rest of the life, she is a mother to everybody. And she finds great pride in declaring that. If she has a son and a daughter, she will say, I have three kids. And all three behave in the same way. They are dependent on me, they suck upon me. I prepare food for all. I wash everybody’s clothes; there is no difference between the kids and the husband. As long as you take your biological role seriously, you will remain in chains. And your biological role confines you to the nest. Mark the nest, that’s your enemy. That’s the enemy. But you take that as your security cordon. You say, within this, I am so safe. Within this, I don’t have to experience the dirt, and the harsh sun

Chill? No, get out of the nest, hit the road. The nest! Nothing else -the nest! I don’t know, Shilpi whether I have answered you, and Parmeshwari, you too. Getting it? Never get married into a home. Never get married into a family. Never become a queen of the bedroom or a kitchen, or the entire house. Just the nest or parts of the nest. And don’t be so identified with the damn eggs. All the time concerned with the eggs, the eggs, the eggs. Look at what the market says, when it talks of women. Are there books specific to the women? But look at the advertisements. What are they selling, when it comes to the women? Stuff related to the eggs and the body. Man might even be sold frequent flyer programmes because he travels a lot. But woman is always targeted to sell the lip gloss, the bra and egg paint. Why aren’t the airlines targeting you to sell their frequent flyer programmes, I ask you. Why don’t you fly away? Fly away from the nest, that’s your only chance.

Cars are being sold and the target customer is man, and the woman is being used to sex up the car. Very few car companies are targeting to sell cars to women. Such an insult it is. No car manufacturer thinks that an entire model can be brought out to serve the needs of the women. But the woman is always present in the car advertisement. And what is she doing there, displaying the curves. And the manufacturer is saying, my car is as curvy as this woman. All the men, come over. Be the user of the car, not the doll in the car.

Learn to be on the driver’s seat, not on the rear seat or the seat next to the driver. Learn to hold the steering, get out of your nest. And don’t be so damn particular about your sexuality and virginity and what else. All body stuff, my biggest asset is my eye brows, and lips and curves and virginity. Now what do you expect from the life? What else will you get, except bondages and imprisonment?

Knowledge must be your asset, strength must be your asset, exposure must be your asset, money must be your asset and overall, truth must be your asset. Not your breasts and hips. You spend so much of time pandering to the needs of the body.

Spend time enriching yourself, spend time gaining knowledge, spend time skilling yourself.

Why do we find so few women in science?

Out of the list of the 800-900 Noble laureates, why are there so few women?

Why are so few women in the science laboratories in the world?

Where are they in politics, in sports, at least in the developing countries?

Where are they in literature, in all ways of creativity?

I will tell you, where they are. They are in the nest. When man is busy creating a new machine, the woman is busy looking after her eggs. Now who will rule and who will be the slave, tell me. Tell me. And unfortunately, the woman is preparing herself just to receive the man. The woman is actually more self-less than the man. She is the finer product of evolution than men. So, the men will be busy enhancing his business or creating a new machine, and the women would be busy taking care of the house and cooking food for the man. Now man has done everything for his own personal development, he will be called as the ruler of the business empire. And what is the woman doing? Doing the man’s laundry and cooking his dinner.

And he returns more and more empowered everyday because 8-10 hours of the day, he is working in his self-interest. He is working to gain money, working to gain respect, power, strength. And what is the woman doing all this while, taking care of the eggs, doing the laundry, doing the meals. And then she expects that the man will be honest and kind enough to grant her an equal status. Why this exploitative man, as man is defined to be, why will this man grant her an equal status? Why? The man is the king and pardon me for being harsh, you are just his concubine.

You may call yourself as the queen but you are not. A harlot you are. The king can throw you away, whenever he pleases. Be less emotional, the emotion is the woman’s undoing. Don’t weep so frequently, mind those tears. You think, your tears are your strength? They are your biggest weakness. Curse yourself for weeping out. Stay strong. Don’t give in to the emotional traps.

The man says, darling why do you have to work. You stay at home, I will work. You take care of the bed, of the eggs, of the babies, and your mother-in-law. I will bring in the booty and obviously, you have equal rights over that. My money is your money. Never accept this temptation. His money is never your money. Never ever try to think that his money is your money. If you don’t earn anything, then you are a beggar and that’s all. Full stop. He might be earning millions but if you don’t earn anything of your own, you don’t earn anything, full stop. Emotions, tears, biology, nest – that’s the woman’s world. And she is so easy to fool. So easy to fool. The man has been forever fooling the woman and the woman still doesn’t want to wake-up.

One feels like worshipping the women for enduring so much. One feels like worshipping the women for being so willingly exploited. And one feels like slapping her hard in the face for being so stupid. Her own worst enemy, she is. Talk emotions to her and she will be pleased. Talk sense to her, and she will be offended. Truth is often rough and blunt and harsh. Tell the truth to her, and she feels he doesn’t love me. And offer her emotional sweeties, and you will be the best friend she ever had. I personally have so much trouble with women. So difficult to teach her. And if you somehow manage to teach them a little, they become emotional.

I know lot of what I have said, is a sweeping generalisation but still it is very pertinent and applicable. Don’t just dismiss what I am saying as stereotyping. I might be stereotyping, yet what I am saying is relevant for a great majority of men and women. What is this thing with long hair? Why must you keep long hair, I am asking you. So that men has ease in pulling your hair and controlling you by your hair. You are already physically weaker and then, you have long tail up here. Anybody can hold your tail and control you. Even a 10 year old boy can defeat you by just using your tail. But women won’t live without long hair. And I never understand this. So I said, if you will not cut your hair, I will grow mine. But we cannot accept this duality – men will have short ones and women will have long ones. I said, I will grow mine, let’s see. But here again biology is defeating me, my hair don’t grow half as long as yours. I never get a haircut but the hair only come to my shoulders. Your hair go right down to your butt. As if biology    itself is conspiring to keep the women chained.

What is this thing with make-up? What is this? What do you mean by make-up? Spirituality is all about giving up things that are made up. And you are always making up. Only the false is made up. And what not, silicone implants, false bras, false eye brows, what else is there, the thing that removes the wrinkles, Botox

The entire time is being spent in this non-sense. I don’t know the details but there is so much, you can read all that on the menus of the salon. This treatment, that treatment and God knows how expensive they are. From where all that money is coming, mostly from the men. And if it is not coming from the men, it is your own hard earned money, then it is even worst. Tell this to the women in the beauty parlour, and they will pull your little hair out. The body, the nest, be very cautious about that. Men too have to be cautious about this but women has to be supremely cautious.


~ Acharya Prashant Ji speaking on women’s revolution in one of the online course series in English.


Watch Full Discourse: How to bring about a Total Women’s revolution? || Acharya Prashant (2018)



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Acharya Prashant, with students: Freedom from expectations || (2012)

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Acharya Prashant: Are we young? Are we really young? To be young means, to be energetic, means to be open. Oscar Wilde had said, youth is lost on the young. Do you understand its meaning? That we only turn young in the body. Either we remain a child throughout life or enter old age directly, bypassing the real youth.

Do I really have to go too far, to enquire why am I living like this! And ‘Why’ still comes later. First, do I know ‘How am I living?’ Why am I doing engineering? Whenever I sit in a class, why do I get bored? Are we able to clearly look at these ways of our day to day living? Am I just dancing to the tunes of the external world in this life? Is there something really mine. One doesn’t need to go and read books to see ‘How am I living?’ One just needs to look at oneself, one’s actions with clarity. You are in the second year, most of you must be thinking about the jobs, whether you will get a good one or not? Always, buffeted by doubts, queries, insecurities, confusions.

Wherever I am, am actually never there. Strained between the pulls of the past and the pulls of the future. Let us first look at our life. When we honestly do this, only then will I realize that life is precious. I am important. And it cannot be wasted away like this. There must be something more to life. But that wholeness, that completeness, which life deserves, that you can give to it only when you first realize the incomplete, the fragmented, the divided, ways in which we are living.

Continue reading

Answer to “Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you and don’t trust you.” || Acharya Prashant (2018)

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Question: Acharya Ji, I am afraid of you. The reasons are:

First reason is that of authority.  

And second reason is I want something from you and there is no total trust in you.

And I am afraid of that being found out.

Is there more to it? Continue reading

How to not get distracted by critics? || Acharya Prashant with Students (2013)

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Acharya Prashant: Vishal is asking, ‘I don’t want to give two hoots to all these people who say things about me’.

How many of you get worried, honestly, when people say things about you, especially nasty things?

So, then this question is not only Vishal’s question, but practically everybody’s question right?

Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hain kehna!
(people will say a few things, that is their job)

The problem arises when we forget that what they are saying is an opinion coming from their mind and hence, a totally external thing. Vishal, you can never be hurt, if you do not link that opinion to your self image.  You can never ever feel hurt if you do not link other’s opinion to your self image. Continue reading