Questioner: Dear Acharya Ji, Pranam.
Discrimination and renunciation have been given the highest importance in Vivekchudamani. I do discrimination of real and unreal by enquiry of objects and situations around me and observing my mind attentively. It is clear that all structures are bound to collapse in time. I see the fakeness of me to some extent. Yet, I have not gained a firm conviction of truth. Dear Acharya Ji, please tell me how can I discriminate, further, diligently so that I am able to see things with clear eyes and get rid of the fear caused by snake vision?
Acharya Prashant: Parameshwari, continue doing what you are doing; just continue.
When one starts getting success on a particular path, then excitement tells her to do more. This excitement seems like a supporter of change, a supporter of progress. But this excitement is actually intent on blocking the progress. When something is going right, then just put your head down, and continue doing what you are doing.
A lot of people let the valuable slip away from their hands because they took the valuable for granted. Once you get it, then it is your duty to stop looking this way and that way, then, it is your duty to just serve what you have, without any deviation, without any question.
If the medicine is benefitting you, better complete the course.
There are so many who suffer just because the medicine is extremely good. The medicine is great, and you had to take it for six months. And the medicine is so great that it started showing its effect in the first two months itself. There was not only improvement but actually improvement beyond expectation.
So, what do you do?
Oh, you give up!
Have you not observed this with kids?
They get a fever and the doctor says, ‘This medicine has to be taken for ten days.’ The medicine is good and so the fever goes away within 3 days.
Now, it’s the fifth day, and the kid refuses to take the medicine, now the medicine has been discontinued precisely because the medicine is very good. You see, this is how the ego works, ‘I have got it, it was so good; I have benefitted.’
‘I have already benefitted’, and on the 7th day, the fever is back.
And now the doctor says it is a chronic fever and the course will run for one month.
The original prescription was for ten days.
Now he says the case is spoilt, now, it will run for one month.
See, you have done a little Parameshwari, and with that little you are getting results beyond the little.
Do remember that you have so far not put in much of investment. You have only done a little; and see what you are asking: ‘Yet I have not gained a firm conviction of Truth.’
How are you entitled to gain a firm conviction of Truth?
In two months’ time? With a bit of reading?
That’s ego, which tells you that God is easy, facile, just round the corner. Just do a bit of reading, just apply a bit of discrimination and you will have the fellow in your pocket!
Sadhana must continue uninterrupted.
And never ask, ‘When I will have a firm conviction?’
Truth is not a conviction.
Truth is not something that you have.
Truth has you.
You are never going to have the truth.
Little kids, they plant sapling, and for one week they water them. But the little thing has just been planted, it doesn’t grow by much, or even if it grows, all you see is one or two little fresh sprouts, that doesn’t satisfy the one who is constantly watching, and eagerly expecting.
So he says, ‘Probably there is something wrong with the little plant! Are the roots really healthy?’
So, he will go and uproot it, and check the roots, and again put it back, and every week he does that. He wants to check the length of the roots, if it is firmly established in the earth just like you are asking a firm conviction of Truth, for how much? How much have you given? How much time, how much patience, how much sadhana?
Continue doing what you are doing; just continue.