Acharya Prashant: To break-up or not to break-up?

Question: How to get rid of a relationship that gives pain in leaving?

Acharya Prashant: A few things must be clear.

One, if it is really a bad relationship, then you can have no pain in leaving it because the pain is already there.

How can there be a pain in leaving it because there is a lot of pain in living it?

You cannot have pain in leaving it; rather you are leaving the pain.

Second thing, dropping a relationship, does not mean dropping the other person. If you think that dropping the other person will lead to a change in the relationship, you are mistaken.

All your relationships are fundamentally a reflection of yourself.

You chose the other person.

If you remain the same, then you will find another person to have the same kind of relationship with.

You are a drunkard; you go to the market to fetch some liquor. If one shop is closed, what will you do? You will go to another shop, establish the same kind of relationship with that shop and get the same kind of intoxication from that shop.

You may keep changing shops, that does not change the relationship.

It is a very fine thing that you must understand. You can keep changing persons in your life, and yet you will find that your relationship is just the same because you haven’t changed. You have kept dropping the persons, you may keep changing shops, but wherever you go, you are just asking for liquor. So your relationship with any shop is just the same. Even if you are going to a shoe shop, you are asking for liquor.

That is one approach, the other approach is, “I chose the other person and if I remain the same, I will keep choosing persons of the same quality.” Why drop the person? Every person is a universe. What do I relate to,  in that person? What does that person become in my presence? Can I let the person ‘be’ and rather change the relationship?

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Confidence is a disease

In fear, you feel that it might be lost. In confidence, you feel that there is no threat of it being lost.

Fear is the stage when the root has become a full-grown tree but the root of both ‘confidence’ and ‘fear’ is the same, giving importance to external attainments.

The question of confidence arises only when you are afraid. You see the linkage between ‘fear’ and ‘confidence.’ The one which is confident is surely afraid just that he is not realizing it at that point. If there is no fear, there is no need of confidence.

Confidence is the shadow of fear.

Confidence is a disease.

Don’t ask for confidence, ask for fearlessness.

The more the world will mean to you, the more afraid you will be.

Unfortunately, confidence is no treatment for fear.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Don’t ask for confidence, ask for fearlessness


 

Acharya Prashant: Don’t ask for confidence, ask for fearlessness

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Question: If a person has stage-fear, how can that person enhance or extract the ‘Inner-confidence?’

Acharya Prashant: Sit. See ‘confidence’ and ‘fearfulness,’ ‘confidence’ and ‘fear’ these two are actually the two names for the same state of mind. Fearfulness says, “I’m at the risk of losing something important that something important can be anything – money, security, respect whatever relationship.” Confidence says, “these things are important but I’m not at the risk of losing them.” What is common in between confidence and fear?

I am repeating, pay attention now! Fear says, “what I have from the world is important and is at a risk of getting lost.” Confidence says, “what I have from the world is of course, important but it is not at the risk of getting lost.” Now, what is common between ‘confidence’ and ‘fear?’

Listener: Acharya Ji, the dependency on the world.

AP: Both says, “what I have from the world is surely important.”

In fear, you feel that it might be lost.

In confidence, you feel that there is no threat of it being lost.

But remember, this feeling of no threat depends on time. What is not threatened right now, will be threatened after five minutes or after five days. Confidence will surely turn into fear because you have already made the basic preparation to be ‘afraid.’ The basic preparation to be afraid is, the thought that what the world has given to me is, ‘important.’

The root is there. Confidence is the point when the root has yet not expressed itself into the tree. The root is there. The tree is invisible. It has yet not come forth.

Fear is the stage when the root has become a full-grown tree but the root of both ‘confidence’ and ‘fear’ is the same, giving importance to external attainments.

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Influences are the celebration of life

This nose, these eyes, this language, these clothes, these thoughts, they are all influences. Influences by themselves are no guarantors of suffering.

Influences are the celebration of life.

In fact, in being totally open to influences, you are leading a total life.

The teacher is one who is totally open to influences, who is totally available to the situation. The disciple is one who lives in standards in benchmarks.

To him, this directionlessness, this non-resistance is his total oneness with existence.

The real one has nothing to defend, so he never defends.

And after calling him all the names, you are left with no more names, that’s when you fall silent and that is teaching.

Do not try to judge it on your moral platforms. That judgment will not be wrong, it will be simply irrelevant.

If you have a direction then you are not directionless.

The direction does not keep on changing. Your ways keep on changing. The destination that you have set for yourself that does not change. Your destination is a pleasure.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: From where do the actions of the Teachers arise?

Acharya Prashant: From where do the actions of the Teachers arise?

Listener : Seeing the actions and responses that what I call a teacher gives, so the argument comes that maybe they are coming from the influential part of the mind, they are not coming from the essential just like you said that the faces are real till the time they are not coming from the influence. So gossiping about the teacher, gossiping about the physical appearance of responses, it comes, again and again, that maybe this is not essential, maybe this is not coming from him.

Acharya Prashant: But what you are saying may exactly be what is happening yet how does that entitled us to come to any conclusion?

You see that we all are influenced entities, there is no doubt about it. But so what? If you are not influenced then you are not alive. Your very birth happens out of influence.

This nose, these eyes, this language, these clothes, these thoughts, they are all influences. Influences by themselves are no guarantors of suffering.

Influences are like people passing in front of a mirror. The moment somebody passes in front of a mirror, he influences the mirror. Does he not? What does the mirror do?

Listeners: Reflects.

AP: Reflects. But that does not change the essential nature of the mirror. In fact, that only makes the mirror more respondent, more beautiful. You through light on the mirror, the mirror reflects that light and if there are multiple mirrors, then a single ray of light can lead to wonderful celebration or total festival of lights.

Have you seen the kind of things that can happen when multiple mirrors operate in tendons?

Listeners: Yes.

AP: So there is nothing wrong that which you call as influences.

Influences are the celebration of life.

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You don’t really want lust, you want love

You think that lust will provide for your deepest spiritual need. You think that by getting a woman, you will get some kind of liberation. Don’t you see how mad you are when mortal love strikes you? Do you see how ecstatic you feel when that happens which you call as falling in love? No, it is not merely the arrival of a new woman that has made you go bonkers. The woman has come with the hope, with a promise, the woman has come as God to you.

It is not the arrival of the woman that you are celebrating, it is the arrival of Godliness that you are celebrating. That is why you are taking lust as you friend. Lust brought the woman to you and you are thinking that now through this woman you will get some peace and that is why you celebrate that woman. Later on of course you discover that no man or woman can give you peace. So, your hopes are dashed.

But in the interim you get some opportunity to keep wallowing in your misplaced hopes. Krishna wants to liberate us of our misconceptions. So, he says that these are enemies -anger, lust, attachments. All of them bring false promises to us. All of them, in the garb of bringing us closer to the goal, to god, only keeps us separated. That is why, lust has to be called an enemy. When you stop looking at lust as a friend, then lust is neither a friend nor an enemy. Then you are free of lust, then lust is free of you.

Free of lust, you are relaxed and beautiful. Free of you, lust too is free and beautiful.

You had asked, “How to have love rise from lust?” By seeing that you are in lust not for the sake of lust but for love.

Objects just attract each other. The ego is not really attracted to objects. Objects attract only each other. The ego is attracted only to the one who would really bring contentment to the ego. But the ego uses objects as means when you can see that all your lust is for the sake of love. You are using lust just as a means. You don’t really want lust, you want love. Lust is a means. Then you can let lust just be and move directly to love. When you see that it is not at all effective to use lust as a means of fulfillment then you leave lust in its own place and you move on. Rather, you move back to your own place.



Read the complete article: Can love arise from lust?

Can love arise from lust?

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श्रीभगवानुवाच:

काम एष क्रोध एष राजोगुणसमुद्भवः

महाशनो महापाप्मा विद्ध्येनमिह वैरिणं 

The Supreme Lord said :

It is a lustful desire & resulting anger born of Rajas, which is sinful & all- devouring; know this as your true enemy in the world.

Bhagvad Gita, 3.37

“Love has to arise out of Lust. If you avoid lust, you will be avoiding the whole possibility of love itself. Love is not lust; true but love is not without lust – that too is true.”

Osho

Question: Lust is said to be an enemy in the Bhagvad Gita, but Osho says that out of lust love arises. How to have love arise from lust? Continue reading