Acharya Prashant, with students: How to have confidence in oneself?

T19

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Question: I don’t have confidence in myself. How to gain it?

Acharya Prashant: The question comes from an extreme – “I do not have confidence in myself.” But surely, this question addresses a pain that all experience in varying degrees, on various occasions.

There is nobody who does not feel short of confidence at one point or another. There are many, who keep feeling perpetually short. There are others, who feel confident most of the time, but find that their confidence is deserting them often when they need it.

You say you want ‘confidence’ in yourself. You want confidence in yourself only when you are in doubt. When things are just flowing smoothly, is there need for confidence? When there is no fear, is there need for confidence?

Confidence is a medicine.

Confidence is not your natural state.

Just as, medicine is not health. When you feel sick, then you ask for medicine and the role of medicine should be to make itself unnecessary. You do not want to have a medicine that you will perpetually need. What you must rather perpetually have, is a normal and ordinary state of health. What you must normally have is a state of fearlessness, in which confidence is not needed at all.

If you are requiring confidence, it means that something has already gone wrong.

Now, do you want to cover up what has gone wrong? Or do you want to directly address what has gone wrong? Because if the wrong stays wrong, then you will keep on needing confidence more and more, and more frequently.

When you are addressing your friends, do you require confidence? No! But when you are making a public presentation, then you require confidence. Do you notice that? When you are with your family members, do you require confidence? Hardly ever! But when you are in front of an interviewer, then you say that you require confidence.

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Freedom is Health

Love is a relationship. A healthy relationship is LoveAny healthy relationship is Love, and a healthy relationship is possible only when you are healthy.

What is healthy being? A healthy being is one who is not restless, who is not continuously suffering, whose mind is not continuously wandering in tension, in misery.

You don’t need to become healthy, you are healthy.

What does Health mean? Health means that which you are without any education.

Even in your worst situation, even in your darkest hour, even in your last breath, you will not be able to force yourself to like slavery. It is impossible.

Freedom is Health.

Nobody can lose his or her NatureYou are Healthy.

Becoming is alright in small matters but in essential matters of life, becoming is a disease, unnecessary disease. A disease that is just an assumption but such a deep assumption that it ruins the entire climate of the mind.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: The relationship of the healthy being is Love

Acharya Prashant: The relationship of the healthy being is Love

AP: It’s so simple that you’ll be disappointed actually. It is not jazzy to hear or glamorous to look at.

Love is a relationship.

A healthy relationship is Love.

Any healthy relationship is Love, and a healthy relationship is possible only when you are healthy.

So, the relationships of a healthy being are called Love. The definition is so simple. You don’t find anything very embellished about it.

What is healthy being?

A healthy being is one who is not restless, who is not continuously suffering, whose mind is not continuously wandering in tension, in misery.

When you are settled within and you have a sureness within, then in all your relationships, this sureness, this power, this peace, this completeness shows. What I have that reflects in all my relationships. If I’m healthy then that health shines in all my relationships. That health is called Love.

Listener: Acharya Ji, I saw a video of you – only a healthy mind can enter into a friendship. So, how can we become healthy? What are the ways in which we can have healthy mind?

AP: Do you know what does this question imply? I want to become healthy. Are you sure the question is valid?

Listener: Yes.

AP: What’s your name?

Listener: Priya.

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Pure giving

The ego is interested in its own nourishment.

Because the ego wants only that what the ego values, not which is absolutely valuable.

Getting tired of getting hurt is a rare happening. Man is extremely resilient. We keep on getting hurt again and again, at the same place and yet we are hardly ever tired of repeating the same processes, the same actions that bring us to hurt.

You can call it a stage of demolition. The old patterns are seen as worthless and hence given up.

In the first level, the ego gives, and this giving is of a nature that strengthens the ego. In the second level, the ego gives up its trust in itself and hence gets diminished.

In the third stage giving up does not happen. The third stage is of pure giving.

You just give. Meaninglessly, purposelessly, reasonlessly. You don’t even give, you are just being what you really are.

And when you just start giving, since you are giving to yourself, you start receiving a lot.

Tremendously bored we are with everything, that even an invitation to get rid of boredom sounds boring.

Your mind is already afraid of death, and Rumi is just exposing, or at worst exploiting that fear.

Given the way we are, fear is our reality. Wherever there is body identification, there would also parallely be the fear of the loss of the body.

Everything is done for a purpose, for a reason, with the expectation of gain. And where there is the expectation of gain, there is also the parallel fear of loss.

Because an action that arises from fear can never eliminate fear.

Take care of the ‘first’ in the ‘first place.’ Do not let the disease guide your actions. Rather, the first action should be to eliminate the disease. And these are the only two ways of living.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant on Rumi: The three levels of giving

Acharya Prashant on Rumi: The three levels of giving

IMG-20180628-WA0017 

Before death takes away what you are given,

give away what there is to give.

Rumi

Acharya Prashant: Here is something from Rumi: “Before death takes away what you are given, give away what there is to give.”

The question says, “Statements like these are interpreted as being pleasure aversive, and we already are pain aversive, so together it means being life aversive. Is Rumi really talking about being life aversive?”

I’ll repeat the quote, “Before death takes away what you are given, give away what there is to give.”

‘Giving’ is the keyword. Let’s go close to it and understand it. ‘Giving’ happens at three different levels. All three are connected to each other, yet there is a dimensional difference between the three. The three appear to be progressively leading to each other, yet there is also a quantum jump from the first to the second and from the second to the third. The first kind of giving is the giving that we are all very familiar with.

You give somebody a hundred rupee note and then you expect in return a value of at least hundred rupees, right? And it is great if you give hundred rupees and are in return given a value of two hundred rupees. If you just look at the event partially, then giving is happening. Is it not? You are giving something, right?

Similarly, we give gifts to each other. We give compliments to each other. We give advices to each other. We even give help to each other. We see that happening all around us. What is common between all these types of givings? We are talking about the first level of giving. What is common between all these types of giving?

Listener: It’s given to someone else.

AP: Yes, and?

L: Expectation of a return.

AP: Expectation of a return. Now what kind of return do you expect? When you give something to somebody, what do you expect in return?

L: Something of same value.

AP: Something of value at least, or do you expect something valueless? Be with me, do you expect something valueless or something you deem as worthy?

L: Something we deem as worthy.

AP: Who decides whether what you are getting in return is indeed valuable?

L: Me.

AP: You decide. So you are the one who decides that you are giving away something that has value, let’s say a note or a compliment. And you are also the one who decides that what you are getting in return too is valuable, correct? Who is this ‘you’, who is this ‘me’ who decides what to give and what to get? And whether to give and whether to get? And whether the given and taken has value? Who is this entity that decides all this? That entity is called the ‘ego.’

The ego is interested in its own nourishment.

So, whenever it enters into a transaction with the world, whenever it enters into a transaction in a relationship, its objective is always to enhance itself. Which means that if it is giving hundred, it wants hundred and fifty in return. This is our normal day-to-day giving, which appears like giving but is actually a business transaction in which the ego wants to benefit and hence enhance itself. Are you getting it?

If you give something but get something in return which the ego does not like, then you will say that this is not a fair transaction. Take an extreme example. Let’s say you have become habituated to substance abuse, drugs. You take one thousand rupees and you give it to a drug peddler. And what you get from him instead is some sane advice and a copy of the Upanishads. An entire set of the principal Upanishads, that’s what he gives you the moment you hand over your thousand bucks to him. Will you say that you have been given a fair deal? Would you?

L: No.

AP: No,

because the ego wants only that what the ego values, not which is absolutely valuable.

It has to be valuable in relation to the ego’s configuration. I want that which I think is good for me. Now even if what you are giving me is beautiful advice and a copy of the scriptures, yet I reject it because I do not value it because this is not what I expected. Give me that which I want.

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Limitation itself is the sin

Who are we?

Limited beings with their limited desires, limited scope, limited understanding, limited vision.

The limitation itself is the sin.

 

A Jesus is there to help you get rid of your incompleteness.

But instead of thanking Jesus and living by his word, you choose to crucify him.

Remember the crucifixion.

Because if you forget the crucifixion, you’ll also forget your immediate reality.

The immediate reality is important.

 

One must know where one is standing.

Where one ought to be, or where one must reach comes later. And man does not stand at the perfect spot.

 

The one who is lost must know that he is lost. If he starts believing that he is home, then he will remain forever lost.

 

Only the healthy one has the right to say that he is healthy.

Only a Jesus has the right to say that he is the son of God.

 

Where there is ego, there is bound to be fear.

 

Fifty types of fears just pop up.

Fear is going to be there, choose your type.

Which fear do you prefer?

 

The superficial desire is actually a product of the deep desire. But the irony is such that the superficial desire, though arising from the deep desire, actually works against the deep desire. 

 

The ego is always God loving at the core, and it is great when at the core the ego is God loving and on the surface the ego is God fearing.

 

Be a lover of God in your heart, but your mind must always be afraid of God.

 

One must be afraid of himself.

Being God-fearing means being fearful of oneself, and being fearful of losing God.

 

One must be very very alert to these tendencies;

One must be very very watchful.



Read the complete article: On Jesus Christ: Lover at heart; disciple from mind

On Jesus Christ: Lover at heart; disciple from mind

Poster 5

The fear of the Lord adds length to life

but the years of the wicked are cut short.

BIBLE (PROVERBS 10:27)

Acharya Prashant:

“The fear of the Lord adds length to life but the years of the wicked are cut short.”

BIBLE (PROVERBS 10:27)

Nimisha has quoted from the bible “The fear of the Lord adds length to life but the years of the wicked are cut short”.

Then she says:

Dear Acharya Ji Pranam, having studied in a convent school, I was exposed daily to the teachings of Lord Jesus and stories from the Bible from a very young age. It didn’t take me long to fall in love with the Christ. His warm compassionate gaze and loving demeanor were so comforting. However, one thing that tainted this was the continual reminder that we are all out of sin and need to repent and fear God as well as feel guilty about Christ’s crucifixion. That we are incomplete and need him to redeem us. Something within me rejects this theory of incompleteness. Why do we need to fear the Lord? Why can’t we love him unabashedly?

Thank you.

Nimisha you’ve written that something within you rejects this theory of incompleteness. Look into this statement carefully. Something within you rejects this theory of incompleteness that something, as you say, is within you that something is not the whole of you as you are. That something might be your heart, might be your core, but you are not always and fully abiding as the heart, as the core. Otherwise you would have written ‘I reject this theory of incompleteness’. No, you don’t fully reject it, and that is why this incompleteness is something that we must not turn our backs to. This incompleteness is not something to be swept under the carpet. This incompleteness has to be talked about. It has to be addressed. It has to be healed. We are strongly identified with the ego, with the incompleteness. We live as that.

When you say that in the convent school there were continuous reminders that man is born out of sin and needs to repent, and fear God and feel guilty, it is very much all right. The assertion is well placed. The one who is being referred to is indeed born out of sin.

Who are we?

Limited beings with their limited desires, limited scope, limited understanding, limited vision.

The limitation itself is the sin.

And man is born limited. Would you deny that? Man is born limited, the limitation itself is the sin. Christianity asks man to repent. The word repent is quite subtle with meaning. It means to go back, to return to home. As man is born, man is born as a wanderer, as a homeless recluse.

Somebody who has a continuous thirst to return to the home. But the thirst finds expression in a million ways except the direct way. And that is why repentance is very useful as a tool because it helps man remember that he is indeed incomplete as he is.

There is no point talking of completeness as an abstraction. There is no point talking of completeness as a concept and believing in it. Look at mankind, look at the daily life of man. Do we live in a sense of fulfillment? Every sense, every feeling, every thought that we have is a thought of incompleteness. We want more, and we want to get rid of stuff that we do not want.

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