Acharya Prashant: How to choose the right partner for marriage?

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Acharya Prashant: Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.

But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.

But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right?

You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?

But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think?

Only married people have troubles?

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Acharya Prashant: How to earn more money?

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Acharya Prashant: (Reading a question) One may have good knowledge, but he might not be having a satisfactory job or salary. What to do in such a situation?

You see, as long as knowledge to you is a means of earning a higher salary, you will have to realize the limitations of knowledge. Higher salary does not come merely on the heels of higher or deeper knowledge. This is assuming that you have already set a goal. And the goal is to get a high salary. I am going by your goal. You want to get a high salary.

If you want to get a high salary, you must know what all factors drive salaries. It is just not dependent, merely on your knowledge. It is a function of many many variables. And even those variables are variable.

Today, high salary might be a function of x, y, and z. And tomorrow, high salary might be a function of s, t, and u. So, variable variables are there. You just can’t know.

Yes, you can catch hold of one variable, and put all energy into it. But that may not necessarily help. The car might be in neutral, and you are pushing the accelerator, would that help? You would only burn more and more fuel, and the engine would get heated up. You are trying to push just one variable, and you are not seeing that the other variables are all? Choked. They will not let you progress.

So, you have two options now. Either you go out and determine all the variables that drive salary. And when you determine all the variables, you must remember that the variables themselves are? Variable. So, that which is driving salary today, might not be what would drive salary? Tomorrow. And that which is driving salary in one place, might not be what drives salary in another place, another room, another building, another company.

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Acharya Prashant, with students: You are the mother of all importance

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Acharya Prashant: All your student life, you have been talking and studying about this and that. The languages, Science, Social Sciences – History, Geography, Physics, Mathematics, Chemistry. Now, Technology.

But there is one entity that you have forgotten so much, that it is very difficult at this moment, to even remind you of that entity. That entity has never been in the domain of your education. You have studied about a lot of things, but there is one entity that you have never studied about. Never bothered to attend to.

What is that entity?

Listener: Personality.

AP: Personality?

You will get to study a lot of Personality.

In fact, you have been studying about nothing but ‘Personality’!

‘Personality’ by definition is nothing but what you gather from outside.

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Acharya Prashant: Ambition and anger

Acharya Prashant: What is your name?

Listener: Kshitij Aggarwal.

AP: The question asked by Kshitij is why do needs often dominate ambition?

And he surely thinks that it is quite unfortunate that needs to start dominating ambitions. The reason is simple, he probably gives a lower priority to needs and higher priority to ambitions because he thinks that the ambitions are his. He has kept ambitions very close to himself. He believes that they are his own.

So, he deeply wants the ambitions to be fulfilled. But finds that instead, something else has to be done, first of all, we will understand this conflict. And we all face this conflict, this conflict is not only in Kshitij’s mind, this conflict in the mind of every single one of us. But we are all confused, we rarely know, what to do. There are always one or more options in front of us, and we are unable to see clearly which one is suitable. Right?

This happens not only once in six months, at the time of admissions or at the time of choosing a job, it keeps happening daily, day in and day out. What is this conflict? you will have to understand.

Kshitij,

Our mind is dominated by ‘external influences’ which we have so far called is the development of ‘Ego.’

Our mind is not our mind, our mind is a collection of all external influences.

Our mind is divided into many many segments and many parts, and there are so many different forces that are controlling these separate parts. So, one part is being controlled by parents, one part is being dominated by media, one part is being dominated by society, one part by peers, one by corporations, one by thoughts of career, one by XYZ, and very very large number of parts.

Now, these different parts are your different masters. It’s like a person is tied to fifty different ropes being pulled by fifty different people in fifty different directions. Will that person be able to move towards any definite direction, any one direction.

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We marry problems

Troubles, give you so much to fill your self up.  Troubles gives you a nice identity, an identity that you can get so easily use to.

Life without problems is not possible but there can be life, beyond problems.

The moment you withdraw from the problem, the problem will fall. There is no problem that you experience that comes to you, without your consent, participation and active involvement.

We don’t, marry and get problems. We, marry problems.

To drop problems means to drop the ego, drop the troubling self.



Read the complete article: Acharya Prashant: Surely there is life beyond troubles

Acharya Prashant: Surely there is life beyond troubles

Question: Acharya Ji, can the ego ever be free of troubles?

Acharya Prashant: You need to have faith, that there is life beyond troubles; otherwise troubles are so sweet. Who am I ~ The troubled one.

Troubles, give you so much to fill your self up.  Troubles gives you a nice identity, an identity that you can get so easily use to.

I am, the one, stung by problems. I am the one, who is the victim of troubles. Troubles, problems, all of them, can so easily, give you something, to live by. You must, first of all, let yourself, acknowledge, that there can be life, beyond problems, not without problems.

Life without problems is not possible but there can be life, beyond problems.

But we have a great belief in problems. No?

In fact, you know, it is an insult to problems, that we call them problems. Our problems are our intimate friends. The proof is that you will not let them go.  Will you ever let your problems go? Even if the problem is willing to go, you will catch it, by its collar and you’ll say, no, you don’t have to.  Okay, you can go at a more opportune time.  You have been a guest here for so long and now its late at night and out there, there are thief’s and thugs so you can go in the morning.

AP: That morning never comes. No problem, I assure you, can stay with you, without your active involvement in the problem.

The moment you withdraw from the problem, the problem will fall. There is no problem that you experience that comes to you, without your consent, participation and active involvement.

L: Why we can’t see life beyond the problem?

AP: Because you have been made to believe, through the whole process of your evolution, that there is no life beyond problems and if there is no life beyond problems, then problem-lessness to you means life-lessness.  You do not want to die. You have a belief that the moment problems disappear, life too will disappear, and you do not want to die.

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Is marriage your real problem?

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Marriage

“Learn something from marriage. Marriage represents the whole world in a miniature form, it teaches you many things. It is only the mediocre one who learn nothing. Otherwise it will teach you that you don’t know what love is, that you don’t know how to relate, that you don’t know how to commune, that you don’t know how to live with another.”

Osho

“It is a mirror: it shows your face to you in all its different aspects. And it is all needed for your maturity. But a person who remains clinging to it forever remains immature. One has to go beyond it too.”

Osho

Acharya Prashant: There are many questions on marriage. I’ll take them as one. One of the questions says, “Marriage comes with a sweet promise to eliminate loneliness, but seems to strengthen it more. It’s definitely a mirror in showing that we don’t know how to communicate, love or even live. For there is no understanding of oneself at the first place.” This is probably a quote. The question is asking, “What is it to be intimate in reality?” Continue reading