Tag Archives: others

We have been taught to be dependent in a thousand ways.

Our entire upbringing and education has been such that we’ve been taught to be dependent in the thousand ways. We’ve been told, for example, that we must top the class. Now remember, to top the class, you’ve to be dependent on others. How? Because not only your performance is important, it’s also important that the others perform badly than you. So, there is dependency. “I might do very well but there’s somebody else who’s done better still. I can’t top.”

“You’re good only when the entire society and the entire group of relatives say that you’re good.” So, your being good is now dependent on the opinion of so many people. There is no absolute standard, it’s all relative. If they say you’re good, you’re good. And if the neighbor comes and says, “Mr. Sharma. Your daughter is disappointing.” Then both Mr. Sharma and the daughter are gone. Their day is spoiled. The daughter does not know herself. And even Mr.Sharma does not know, neither the daughter, nor himself. Are you getting it?

Parents tell their kids, “We will be proud of you when the entire world claps for you.” Now what is this? Do you want to ruin your child’s life? “Don’t do this. What will they say?” Is that not a statement that you’ve often heard? “Duniya kya kahegi.” Now you’re being constantly conditioned to become dependent.

Entire system of education, examinations, certifications, you’re only as good as somebody else says you are. There is always an assessing body outside of you. The result has been that even in this young age we’ve lost the capacity for self assessment. We’ve lost the faculty that can look directly at itself. You know yourself only via somebody, only through somebody.

If you’re to ask yourself “Who am I? How am I? Where do I stand?”, you’ll find that you don’t have any answer. And that’s horrifying. And if you have any answer that answer would surely be an answer given by somebody else. It would have been supplied to you by somebody else. Even supplied is a very soft word, it would actually have been implanted in your mind by somebody else.



Read the complete article: The deeper is your dependency, the deeper is your fear

The deeper is your dependency, the deeper is your fear

21125331_1485233508231414_8341813784503617778_oListener: Why are we always scared? In a class if I’m sitting and I’ve to ask question to our teacher, then why do we always think that what people will think of us if I ask this question?

Acharya Prashant: What’s your name?

L: I’m Kiran.

AP: Kiran. Sit Kiran. First of all it’s a little amusing that the one who’s confidently getting up and asking the first question is saying why am I hesitant to ask question. Kiran who’s hesitating to ask, you?

L: Now I’m confident to ask. But few years back I was not so confident. I just wanted to know that reason.

AP: Leave that Kiran. That Kiran is gone. This Kiran is no more nervous. Is she nervous? In front of everybody she’s interacting, sitting right in the front seat. The moment I say ‘Ask’, she shoots the question. If anybody is not nervous here it’s you. The others should ask, “Why are we hesitating? Why can’t we just come forth and speak?” Continue reading

What are you looking for?

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Question: If I am honest, all the time I am looking for something, I don’t know why, or what. And I don’t feel good with that feeling, because all the time we are looking for outside. And I don’t know what I want to do or what I want? If you ask me that, I don’t have any idea. I don’t know what I am looking for. I want to be in peace only.

Acharya Prashant: You see, the question that we normally consider is – “What am I looking for?” In this question, the assumption is that there surely is something that I am looking for, that there exists something that I am looking for; the belief that something out there exists that I really want and that will really satisfy my thirst, my desire. So, the assumed challenge is to figure out what am I looking for.

But we never consider the question, whether I am looking for something?

We ask, “What do I want?” We do not ask, “Whether I want anything.” Do I really want it? Continue reading

The only harm, is keeping someone in illusion.

When you do not realize, you constantly live in a feeling that you are a separate entity. When you keep feeling that you are a separate entity and that others are separate, that others ‘are’, that there is an ‘otherness’, there would always be a gap, a kind of violence. Realization reduces this gap. Realization reduces the very feeling of separation, of otherness. When the feeling of otherness reduces, that is called love. So, realization of oneself is simultaneously love towards others. More you realize yourself, the more this feeling that others, are others, reduces.

The deeper is your belief in your separation, your boundaries, the more violent will be your relationship with others.

The more you believe in your limits, the more insecure you will be, about yourself. And when you are insecure, you obviously cannot have goodwill towards others. Your very concern will be to, save yourself.

Ignorance, worships ignorance. Ignorance, likes and begets ignorance. Your very concept of helping too, would be to further ignorance. “Who am I?” Ignorance. “I Want to help others, what would my concept of helping, spread?” Ignorance. Now is this what you call, help? Spread more ignorance?

The only benefit, is knowing oneself. The only harm, is keeping someone in illusion.

Whatever you are doing, if it keeps others, in illusion, if it furthers their dreamlike state, if it deepens their identity, then your action is not good even for yourself.

It’s this Zero that you crave for. It is this Zero that you are so thirsty for. Everything else, you have in abundance, what you don’t have is the Zero.


Read Complete Article: How does one’s Self-realization help others?

Why do we often require somebody’s company?

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Acharya Prashant: Praveen is asking, “Why do we always require somebody’s company?”

Even when there is somebody who is lying on the side of the road, let’s say an accident victim waiting to be helped, we wonder whether we are the first one or the only one who would be getting involved. We think so many times before putting our foot forward. In such situations too, we require the company of somebody else, why?

Praveen, this is just one particular incident where it becomes obvious, that we are so dependent on others. Such incidents only exemplify, bring forth to light that we are very very dependent. But, such dependence is not limited to these kinds of incidents. Kindly, do not think that in other general, day to day matters of life, we act independently Continue reading

How does one’s Self-realization help others?

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Acharya Prashant: When you do not realize, you constantly live in a feeling that you are a separate entity. You are asking, how does self-realization help others?

When you keep feeling that you are a separate entity and that others are separate, that others ‘are’, that there is an ‘otherness’, there would always be a gap, a kind of violence. Realization reduces this gap. Realization reduces the very feeling of separation, of otherness. When the feeling of otherness reduces, that is called love. So, realization of oneself is simultaneously love towards others. More you realize yourself, the more this feeling that others, are others, reduces.

What is meant by others? Others mean foreign, separate, alien, not me, somebody else. The more close you come to yourself, parallelly you find that you are coming close to others also. And the ultimate point in all this is, when you say that the self is so immense that it encompasses, it includes, everything, everybody, there are no separate individuals at all. There are no others. The deeper is your belief in your separation, your boundaries, the more violent will be your relationship with others. Do you get this? Continue reading

Love is intolerant, love interferes

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Acharya Prashant: I see that I am in peace, but my neighbour or the other one is living in violence, then I just won’t say, “It’s none of my business.” I will interfere!

Love is not a peaceful coexistence with violence.

The question is why one must interfere?
If one is already at peace, then why must one interfere? Continue reading