Acharya Prashant: How to choose the right partner for marriage?

47

(To receive regular updates on WhatsApp regarding wisdom articles by Acharya Ji and to get an opportunity to connect to him directly, click here


Acharya Prashant: Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centred. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful. If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful.

But, what matters is not the social institution of marriage, but the fact that you are with someone. And when you are with someone, the presence of that someone will necessarily have an effect upon you and vice-versa. You must know the effect that the other’s presence has upon you. If someone’s presence has a becalming effect on your mind, soothing effect on your mind, illuminating effect on your mind, liberating effect on your mind, go ahead. Boldly be with that person or persons as much as you want to.

But be with them only as long as their effect upon you is liberating. And be with them only as long as you do not become dependent on them, neither do they become dependent on you. It has to be a mutually healthy relationship. Not a relationship in which you enter because of sexuality or loneliness or social pressure.

You already have enough troubles, right?

You don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you?

But yes, if someone can bring joy and truth to you, invite them right into your heart. And then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry, wonderful, you don’t marry, wonderful. And with the wrong person, you marry, bad luck, you don’t marry, bad luck.

What do you think?

Only married people have troubles?

Continue reading

Acharya Prashant: Is plunging into sex a method to gain freedom from sex?

Question: Acharya Ji, you have said in a previous session while discussing the attraction towards sex, that one does not need to get entangled even to overcome or suppress. One rather needs to leave sex behind. One should seek that for which one is really eager. All the energy should go in that direction.

One is not rejecting sex, one is just prioritizing correctly. One is saying that the one that has a lower priority must wait because there is something immensely more important that is higher up the priority. That which is higher up the priority is so immense that it would never get completed, never get over. So the one who is waiting for his turn, the one who is lower down the order would just keep waiting.

He would not need to be killed, he would have just been permanently postponed. And she says that, in the same session, Acharya Ji has said “In the subconscious, there is a lot that terrifies you and you try to escape that fear by not trying to know more about it. When you first enter, you will find ‘that’ will scare you but if you stay with it courageously you will meet the one that delivers you from that fear.

If a person doesn’t meet ‘that’, which scares him and how you meet the one that liberates from the fear. Therefore, on your way meet all your imperfections and impurities and it is only after that you will meet the one that purifies, perfects and completes you.

So having quoted these two excerpts from a previous session, the question is, In the context of the pull of Maya and the worldly, here relating to the pull of the sexual energy, does one acknowledge it  and transcend it by focusing on the ‘Ananth’ or God ? or does one drop the defences against Maya, go through the worldly and only then arrive at the door of the Ananth.

Thank you.

Acharya Prashant: So, two excerpts have been quoted and apparently the two excerpts are in contradiction. The first one says that you do not need to get entangled, and the second one says that you need to meet all your fears, all your impurities, all your imperfections head-on.

So the questioner is a little confused and she is asking what to do? Does one seek to cleanse herself or does one need to plunge into her own conditioning? I will repeat the question for you. In the context of the pull of Maya and the worldly, here relating to the pull of the sexual energy, does one acknowledge it and transcend it by focusing on God ? or does one drop the defenses against Maya, go through the worldly and only then arrive at the door of the Ananth?

Continue reading

Acharya Prashant on Jesus Christ: Who is a man and who is a woman?

Blog-8

“No woman would have authority over man,
no woman would disobey man
and her job is to remain Silent.”

~ 1 Timothy 2:12

Acharya Prashant: Every single sutra here contains the essence of Bible, the essence of the word of God. It is just that it is expressed a little differently in each quote, in each sutra, in each aphorism. Just as the audiences are different, just as we are different as persons. But the speaker is always the same. The speaker, the source is always the one. Even one sutra, if brought lovingly to heart, will burn away all that causes us grief, suffering and separation.

But I appreciate that as distinct personalities, we will have our distinct tastes.
So, which one appeals to you, yes? Continue reading

Ego is like a continuous uninterrupted thirst, pining for disappearance

That, which you see appearing as sex after a particular age until a particular age, is nothing but the fundamental drive of the ego expressing itself. In a human being, the ego is very closely associated with the body. When the child is small, the chief concern of the body is just nourishment and security. So, the body seeks the mother, and when the body is seeking of mother, the ‘I’ tendency attached to the body which is actually the real seeker, is just trying to gain total fulfillment through the mother. The hope is not answered. The hope that mother will prove to be the one who brings total contentment proves futile.

Intimacy with the mothers brings deep joy to the kid, but only for a while. The kid also discovers that the intimacy is not unconditional. The kid discovers that the mother may sometimes ignore him that another baby may come and affection may get a little divided. The kid also discovers that the relation really does not have perfect understanding. There is still distance. There is still confusion, conflict.

Even if of a small magnitude, yet it is still there.

The child moves ahead. The ego now must find another means to the ultimate. The child now places his hopes upon looking at the world, gaining a relationship with the world, using the world as a playground. But, new discoveries, new relationships, fun, frolic, all kinds of sports and games, they also only partially and intermittently relieves his misery. He finds that it is great fun to be adventurous, to know what this world is all about. He finds that the great fun to make new friends and keep playing with them. Mischief, naughtiness – all have their own attraction. But none of them comes even close to the total, absolute, perfect, unconditional bliss that the ego is looking for.

This attempt, the second attempt too fails. The mother fails, the world fails, the friends also proved to be failing. Fun and frolic prove no good either. Now, the age of puberty arrives. Another door opens for the kid. His search for the total, his search for peace, his search to go into the most relaxing lap, his search for security, now is able to find another expression.

All this while, what has remained unchanged is the ego’s search, longing for peace, for settlement. The ego is like a continuous uninterrupted thirst, pining for disappearance. That is a permanent background. In the foreground is the theater, the podium of all human activity.

In the foreground, actions keep happening, characters keep changing. There are differences. Sometimes there is light on stage, sometimes there is shade, sometimes characters are weeping, sometimes they are laughing, somebody is making an entry, somebody has just found an exit. People are getting related, people are getting separated. All this is happening in the foreground of life.



Read the complete article: What is the energy behind sex?

What is the energy behind sex?

gen 1The fundamental energy of sex is man himself, mind himself. There is the source, the core, then there is the ‘I’ tendency, and then there are the various forms that the ‘I’ tendency takes. Whatever be the form that the ‘I’ tendency takes, the form is utilized for the fundamental purpose of the ‘I’ tendency.

The ‘I’, the ego, has just one purpose, to satiate itself, to come to a completion. The ‘I’ is like a burning mass. It’s a thirsty unit. It wants to somehow quench itself. That is one thing.

Second thing is, the ‘I’ knows only one way of satiating itself, that is, through association with objects. The ego tendency, the ‘I’, believes that the route to fulfillment passes through the world, through objects. So, it keeps on getting associated with one object after the other in order to get fulfilled. The objects keep varying, the tendency does not vary. The objects keep varying, the intention of the ego does not vary. The intention is the same. The intention is to gain total fulfillment through the object. The intention is to use the objects as a means to come to the ultimate, to come to closure. Continue reading

Start with your own welfare

It is not for social responsibility or for social welfare or for the progress of humanity that you probably want to have a child. Ask yourself is it not because of social pressure instead that you are feeling the need to confirm. Surely somebody is pressurizing you. It is the prerogative of the Buddhas and the Saints to think of human welfare. And they have gone to human welfare only after they have done themselves a lot of good. Only after their own eyes have opened up do they start opening the eyes of the entire world. Have your own eyes opened up? Then how are you talking of the welfare of the mankind?

Have you been able to come to your own welfare? Don’t you see it is such a bizarre situation? You do not know your own welfare but you are intending the welfare of the world and that too how? By having sex and getting a kid.

What exactly is the thinking? What is the logic? What is the inner argument? Are we living in an age where populations have been wiped out by war or plague? Are we living in a country where the birth rates are so low that the government has to incentivize births? Are we living as tribes in a jungle that are in a danger of extinction due to their underpopulation? Are human beings the threatened species on this planet? Then how exactly are you thinking of social welfare through reproduction?

Don’t you see that it is just absurd? Instead, the matter of fact might be that you are feeling pressurized by social norms or by somebody, in particular, maybe somebody of the household. Maybe neighbors, relatives, maybe one of the old ladies in the house who are constantly bugging you to become a father or a mother. Or, maybe the movies that keep on telling you that unless you are a father, there is something missing in your life.

If you really intend anybody’s welfare and welfare is wonderful, I love it and respect it when you talk about the welfare of others.

Start with your own welfare. See what life is like, understand what sex is? Understand what is procreation? Know what it means to bring a baby into this world. Know what human being is and what his relationship with the society must be? Know what is birth? Know what is bad for a human being? Only then you will know that in which lies human welfare.



Read the complete Article: Sex for fun, sex for social obligation

Sex for fun, sex for social obligation

SR Generic_ English

 

Question: “Acharya Ji, my whole life, I treated sex as fun due to my early age experience. I would treat it as fun-just to relax my body. But now, at my mature age, I feel that it’s a responsibility to have a son or a daughter for humanity, to strengthen our world. I feel I must procreate for the welfare of humanity. And I realize that at the time of such creation, both the partners must be aware of what they are creating- it must be for the betterment of society and not only for fun. Only then will one be responsible, otherwise both I and the society will suffer.”

Acharya Prashant: You are saying that in your teenage, in your early youth you had sex for fun and now you want to have sex in order to fulfill a social responsibility.

It is far better to have sex for fun than to have sex to fulfill some social obligation. Sex is something very intimate, it cannot be driven by the dictates of others, it cannot be driven by social norms, it cannot be a method to fulfill a responsibility towards others. Having fun and then moving on is a far more innocent and spiritual thing. Because in having fun, you are not aiming for the future, in having fun, you are not expecting a reward after the action. In having fun you will not try to hold the other captive, you will not say that you must now stay with me and fulfill your responsibilities and sign this contract with me that obliges you for such time into the future.

Continue reading