How to remain non-violent?

 

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Questioner: Does Spirituality ask us to be non-violent? And Spirituality also asks us to fulfill our duties. So, in today’s world when we are subjected to any kind of violence, it may be physical, emotional, mental, how duties can be fulfilled along with non-violence?

Acharya Prashant: A lot of images are there in your statement. First of all, non-violence is not just a particular code of conduct. Non-violence is just about not seeing oneself as limited. Not unnecessarily building boundaries for oneself.

Allow me to clarify. I said nonviolence is about not seeing oneself as limited and not building boundaries around oneself. How is that non-violence?

What is violence?

Listener: Seeing other as separate from oneself. Continue reading

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There can be no controller and no controlled

Few things about the dualistic nature of mind, of existence, probably needs to be seen.

First, there is no control ever – in the sense, that there can’t be a controller and a controlled. There would always be a controlled one and another controlled one, out of which one would appear to be the controller. But no one is really the controller.

Similarly, there can never be an exploiter and an exploited. There would always be the exploited and the exploited. And out of the two exploited, obviously, one would appear to be the exploiter. And the one who appears like the exploiter, need not be a definite one. Among these two, the role of the exploiter would keep changing hands. So, sometimes the man would appear like the exploiter and other times a woman would appear like the exploiter.

Whenever, the natural harmony of things, of movement, of existence is upset then there is disease; disease on both sides – the man and the woman. When things are healthy, then, nobody controls anybody. Neither the man controls anybody nor does the woman control anybody. When things are diseased, then both parties control each other.

It is not as if, because we have named it a patriarchal society, which it does appear on the surface, right? That it is dominated by man; the man is the head of the family; the man controls 97% of the wealth; the man is at the top in most organizations, so the man does appear to be the controller. Which, I would like to submit, is just an illusion.

Man controls in his own way. But because, there can be no controller and no controlled, so the woman controls in her own way. Both are at war with each other. Both are trying to enslave each other. Both are trying to get on top. It’s the exploited and the exploited, just that their ways are different because their respective constitutions are differently from a woman. A man is constructed differently from a woman. So, the way the man tries to control has got to be different from the way a woman tries to control.



Read Complete Article: Is the man-dominated society fearful of women?

Is the man-dominated society fearful of women?

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Question: We come from a society which is patriarchal in nature, everything around revolves around a man and there is a general subjugation of a woman in the sense that the laws, the rules and regulations around whatever woman can do, not do; things like that. My question is that, is there a general fear of a woman in the man’s mind and society at large? Because we control things, we subjugate a thing to rule or regulation only when we feel a threat, may be inferiority, if I may say. So, that is my question – “Is there a fear of a woman?”

Acharya Prashant: So, you see you are already in hold of something important. At one end you see that it’s a patriarchal society that we are coming from. On the other end your question is – “Is the man afraid of woman?” 

Firstly, we are saying that the man is the controller and then we are asking that is the man afraid of woman. Continue reading

The only harm, is keeping someone in illusion.

When you do not realize, you constantly live in a feeling that you are a separate entity. When you keep feeling that you are a separate entity and that others are separate, that others ‘are’, that there is an ‘otherness’, there would always be a gap, a kind of violence. Realization reduces this gap. Realization reduces the very feeling of separation, of otherness. When the feeling of otherness reduces, that is called love. So, realization of oneself is simultaneously love towards others. More you realize yourself, the more this feeling that others, are others, reduces.

The deeper is your belief in your separation, your boundaries, the more violent will be your relationship with others.

The more you believe in your limits, the more insecure you will be, about yourself. And when you are insecure, you obviously cannot have goodwill towards others. Your very concern will be to, save yourself.

Ignorance, worships ignorance. Ignorance, likes and begets ignorance. Your very concept of helping too, would be to further ignorance. “Who am I?” Ignorance. “I Want to help others, what would my concept of helping, spread?” Ignorance. Now is this what you call, help? Spread more ignorance?

The only benefit, is knowing oneself. The only harm, is keeping someone in illusion.

Whatever you are doing, if it keeps others, in illusion, if it furthers their dreamlike state, if it deepens their identity, then your action is not good even for yourself.

It’s this Zero that you crave for. It is this Zero that you are so thirsty for. Everything else, you have in abundance, what you don’t have is the Zero.


Read Complete Article: How does one’s Self-realization help others?

The relationships of a healthy mind

This is what love is – a composed, relaxed mind. To put it simply, to love the other is to have a healthy relationship with the other and for the mind to have a healthy relationship with the other, first of all the mind must be healthy in itself. Are you getting it?

How can I have a healthy relationship with you, if I am not healthy?

How can the relationship be healthy, when the mind in the relationship is not healthy?

Is it possible?

Is it possible that the mind is diseased but, the relationship is healthy? Is it possible?

Do you get now, what love is? A healthy mind, the relationships of a healthy mind are called Love.

The relationship of a healthy mind are called loving relationships.



Read the Article: What is a relationship of love?

What is a relationship of love?

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Listener: In the previous activity we have learned what Love is not, then what Love is?

Acharya Prashant: That same activity sheet also contained a paragraph on that. Didn’t it?

L: Sir, but they were just the reciprocate; the opposite of what love is not. It didn’t actually explained what love is.

AP: (nodding his head in dismissal) It did. It very clearly did that. Is anybody carrying that sheet?

Even looking at that sheet will be a good experience. Read the last paragraph – what is love? Now, give it to me. Let me read it aloud.

Pay attention. Last paragraph, last heading and that’s why it has been highlighted in another color. Do you see that?

Continue reading

How to relate better to one’s wife?

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Question: If there is a fight going on with my wife, and she gets angry, and I too get angry. Won’t that create more friction?

Acharya Prashant: You know what, you don’t get angry when fighting with your spouse, because you assume that she is not as strong as you. Do you see that? You say, “She is the weak one, so let her be angry. I am the more responsible one, so it is upon me to not to get angry.” Is that not what the assumption is? Now see what is actually happening. You are assuming her to be weak and she is controlling you. So, who are you? Weaker than the weak. Do you see this? Continue reading