Key to Fearlessness is Independence

We do not mind at all when somebody tells us in the morning that you are handsome, you are looking wonderful. We think that this is what I am.

But you do not pay attention, you do not realize that, now you have given this person the license to say something to you in the evening. In the morning the fellow told you that you are looking wonderful, and in the evening if the same fellow comes and says that you are stupid, you have to take that in. You have made yourself dependent on him.

 

By accepting what the world is saying about you, you make the world your master. ‘I am brilliant because my entire batch is telling this to me. If I am brilliant because my entire batch tells this to me, then I will be an idiot if I my batch tells this to me. I need to be afraid of my batch. I cannot offend my batch anymore. If I offend them, they might call me an idiot.’

When we grandly accept it, then we have made that fellow our master. We have no eyes to see ourselves directly. We look at ourselves through the eyes of others. Whenever we have done this, we must realize that we have made the other, our master. Now we are dependent on others.

 

Whenever there is dependence, there is fear. And that is the reason why you are afraid of others. That is the reason why anybody is ever afraid of anything or anybody. That is dependence. If you want to live fearlessly, then stop being dependent on others.

Find out your dependence. Find out in what ways you are dependent and on whom. Look at your dependencies. Try to find out. Wherever will be your dependency, there will be fear because you will be afraid that the fellow can take something from you. The more dependent you are, the more afraid you will be. The key to fearlessness is independence. The key to fearlessness is freedom.

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~ Excerpts from the article, ‘Why can’t I speak in front of others?‘. Edited for clarity.

Faith does not answer questions, it laughs at them

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for,

the evidence of things not seen.

– (Bible, Hebrews 11:1)

Question: Sir, how is faith different from superstition? How do I know that I am not landing in trivia?

Speaker: A similar question was posed to Jesus. He was asked, “How do we know that your Father’s Kingdom is just as you describe? Can you give us a proof? Can you show us a sign?” That was the exact question asked to him, “Can you show us a sign?” And this got Jesus upset. He said, “With your faithlessness you are asking this question, how will you ever see a sign?” And he walked away. He did not stop at that place. He went away. He said, “I can’t even talk to you.”

Then he said that “The only sign is – the dead will come alive. That is the only sign, but to see that sign, you will have to die. And you won’t die because you are faithless.”

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When you chase something, you will get its opposite as well

Drunks fear the police but the police are drunk too.

~ Rumi

Speaker: We are prone to thinking that a ‘thing’ is cancelled or neutralized by its opposite and our superficial experience in the world supports this kind of thinking. When cold water is mixed with hot water what you get is water that is neither cold nor hot. When a force toward the left meets a force towards the right, what you get is equilibrium. So it is no wonder, that we think that the opposite of ‘something’ neutralizes it, finishes it, dissolves it.

If the day is hot, we wait for the night. We say, “The day is so hot, the night might bring us some relief.” And when the night comes, we are glad to say, “The night brought us relief from the heat of the day”.

For us, a ‘thing’ finds its end, its deliverance, its solution in its opposite. If the day troubles me, then my deliverance lies with the night. If white threatens me, then my succor lies with black. If going upwards, I find suffering then the correct way for me is to go downwards. That is the way of the Samsara (World). That is what our ‘normal’, everyday experience has taught us.

But the wise man looks attentively at the world. He asks, “Is really a ‘thing’ finished by its opposite?” He probes deeply into life and what he sees is that the deeper is the pain, the more is the search and the memory of pleasure. And the more is the pleasure, the more is the urge to consume the pleasure out of a fear of pain.

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A confidence independent of knowledge

Question: Sir, how to get confidence that is not based on knowledge?

Speaker: (Laughingly) Just say that even if knowledge is not there, no harm will be done. Simple!

How did you associate confidence with knowledge? You did that, right? By unnecessarily saying a few things to yourself, over and over, again and again. You repeated falseness like a mantra. You repeated lies like a mantra and it came to a point where you started believing in your own lies. That is the simple story.

All that you are carrying in your head, you were not carrying it 15 years back. You acquired it during the journey and you kept acquiring and kept acquiring and you kept preserving it, you kept safe-guarding it, with the result that now you feel that it is really something precious.

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Forget the imaginary, just attend to what is

Question: Is death, as an event, good or bad experience, if we dissolve our self in the universe after death or to the bigger Self?

Speaker: See, you are sitting here. You are writing something. You traveled a particular distance. How is all of that any less important than an imaginary moment of death? Nobody ever seems to ask, “What will happen, when I will sip the next cup of tea?” Nobody seems to ask, “What will happen when I will breathe next?” Are all these things any less important? But we all seem to be asking about death.

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The only way to help the world is to leave the world alone

Question: Sir, why should I care about global warming or any political situation in a country? If the world is unreal, then why do all these things matter?

Speaker: You don’t care about global warming. Do you?

Listener: But still, why should anyone care about global warming?

Speaker: You forget about others, because you do not know others. But you anyway don’t care about global warming, do you? So, from where is the question ‘Why should I care about global warming’ coming?

Listener: Sir, then should I forget about it?

Speaker: You have already forgotten about it. Being what you are, do you have an option? You are asking as if you can care about global warming. Who can care about global warming? Global warming, remember, is nothing to be taken care of. You stop doing what you are doing and global warming will take care of itself. You don’t have to take care of global warming. What do you take care of? You only take care of yourself. When you take care of yourself that’s when global warming happens.

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How to deal with anger?

Questioner: In spite of keeping all watch and vigil, anger comes and leads to wrong actions on certain trigger points and situations. After that it is realized that a slip happened. What is the way?

Speaker: There is nothing in existence that is unnecessary, totally useless, needlessly there. It is good that we are talking of anger, its causes and its consequences, the harm that it does. But that also might be because firstly anger is very gross, very visible. There is a clear sensual expression of anger. So, it becomes very obvious that we are angry; it cannot remain hidden. And secondly our education or morality has constantly taught us that anger is something bad. So to the problem of anger, we seem like being alert. But are we equally alert, let’s say, to the fact that even in those moments of the day when everything appears normal, we are actually feeling a little down, a little dull, a little bored, a little short of energy; that we do not consider a problem as big as anger, again for those two same reason. One, anger is gross and that constant sense of background boredom is subtle. In anger you shout, your face turns red, your blood pressure rises. In boredom, well, there is not much that happens that can be caught or traced by senses. Now you are just sitting, you are weary, you are yawning, and it doesn’t seem that there is much wrong with yawning. In anger, well you are beating people up. It seems that there is so much wrong with anger. And secondly, we have been taught that anger is bad and boredom is a much smaller evil. But is that so?

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